| Location | West Midlands |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 02/01/2004 |
| Date of Death | 02/01/2004 |
| Visitors | 412 since 07/10/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
Courtney was the best most unexpected surprise i could have possibly had at 16 years old. Little did i no then how much heartache i would go through over the next few months as she grew inside me i had so many mixed emotions and what if's but i never regreted my decision to keep my baby and got exited about what it would be like to have a famiy of my own. At the time me and my fiance courtneys daddy had not been together very long but we agreed to make a go of it and i felt good about my choices, I went for my first scan at about 20 weeeks i did not find out until i was around 16 weeks gone so i never had a 12 week scan from that day on my whole life fell apart they told me that there was an abnormalitie in courtneys spine which would mean disabilitys but they could not say for sure how bad they would be she alo had hydrocephalous which is water on the brain this almost certainly means mental disability and most babies born with this condition have to live with a metal shunt inserted into there brain to drain the fluid and release presure so as you can amagine i was devestated after numerous invasive tests and trips to hospital Courtneys fight for life ended on 02/01/2004 at 21.25pm weighing 560 grams at 22.5 weeks when i gave birth to her at birmingham womens hospital after enduring a 12 hour labour i chose not to hold my baby girl for fear that i would not want to give her back the nurses took photos and hand/footprints etc and we had a small ceremony for courtneys cremation 20/02/2004. I just want people to recognise that she was born still but still born.
If I could have a lifetime wish,
A dream that would come true,
I'd pray to God with all my heart for
Yesterday and you.
A thousand words can't bring you back,
I know because I've tried,
And neither can a million tears
I know because I've cried.
You left behind my broken heart
And happy memories too.
But I never wanted memories Courtney,
I only wanted you.
Precious Child by Karen Taylor Good
In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still
In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still
In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
poem
Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I'm asking for today
I just want to know how she's doing
And heaven seems so far away.
Is she playing on the clouds with Angels?
Is she laughing and running today?
Does she miss me?
I guess only she knows
Oh why does heaven seem so far away?
If you just let me look for a moment,
To catch a glimpse of her sweet smiling face,
I promise I won't try to take her
I know she's in a better place.
Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I'm asking for today.
I just want to know how she's doing
And heaven seems so far away...
Angel
The world may never notice
if a snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
if the petals fall too soon,
But every life that ever forms,
or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
for all eternity.
The little one we long for
was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
is a light that still shines on,
and though our arms are empty,
our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
says that we love you.
just for you
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sweetdreams angel xxxxxxxxx
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